


M'aidez

by malafight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Cunnilingus, F/F, Fingering, [shrug emoji], at best, dubcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 12:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malafight/pseuds/malafight
Summary: Peridot gets the perfect girlfriend, but then someone from her past shows up and throws everything off-kilter.





	M'aidez

**Author's Note:**

> this is like 80% catharsis and character exploration and like, unpacking my own shit, so uhhhhh take it as you will, this is Actual Lapidot from me for once xo
> 
> EDIT LATER TO ADD: this is an attempt to convey the sort of abusive relationship I was in for several years!!! PLEASE be careful when reading; it isn't as explicit right now, but it will be later! if any of this is triggering to you, please step back and take a break. you don't have to read this if you don't feel like you can handle it.
> 
> if you are reading this and find yourself thinking "shit, i'm in a relationship like this" please know that THIS IS NOT A NORMAL, LOVING RELATIONSHIP and you need to look into resources for people in abusive relationships. it doesn't have to be a romantic one; it can be platonic or familial as well. PLEASE take care of yourself, and if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!! i would love to help!!

When Peridot had posted online looking for a roommate, she hadn’t expected Lapis. The slight Filipino girl, with a big nose and sadness in her eyes, walked into Peridot’s life and claimed it as her own.

They were roommates first. They went house-hunting together, looking for something within their price range that  _ wasn’t _ an apartment; they had both had issues with pain-in-the-ass neighbors in the past and were willing to pay just a bit extra to avoid upstairs ska bands and unwanted weed smoke wafting in through the windows (not that there was anything inherently  _ wrong _ with ska or weed; it was just that nothing is really wanted at four in the god damn morning). Lapis talked about how she’d have to keep her ex-girlfriend from fighting the neighbors, while Peridot told stories about her old roommate needing the apartment to be immaculate all the time and barging in on her at all hours of the day and night.

She had to admit, though: the fact that Lapis had had a  _ girlfriend _ was a piece of information that Peridot latched onto and filed away.

The rental they found wasn’t a  _ large _ house, but it was in a decent enough neighborhood, close enough to Peridot’s office and the store Lapis stocked at over nights that neither of them would have to leave too early for work. There was a tree in the front yard and a garden plot in the back that Peridot immediately threw her energy into fixing up in time for planting season. Lapis helped her pick out the seeds: tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, peppers -- they waffled on pumpkins, neither of them quite sure if they’d have the room for them, but eventually caved and bought those seeds, too.

Peridot remembered the tilling and composting and planting happily, the both of them elbows-deep in rich earth, faces covered with soil, flinging dirt at each other; it was a memory she held fondly in her heart, an exuberant freedom that brought them together.

It was the first time Peridot had a roommate that wasn’t a  _ nightmare _ . Lapis was sweet and personable, playful, fun to talk to… and, as it turned out, as big a fan of Camp Pining Hearts as Peridot was.

The pumpkins in the garden were sprouting when, during a marathon rewatch of the show, Peridot looked over at Lapis, watching the way her face crinkled up when she laughed, and realized she had it  _ bad _ for her roommate.

They burst into bloom, golden star-shaped flowers, on the same day the two of them were walking through the mall together, people-watching and making scathing commentary, and Lapis slipped her hand into Peridot’s.

Lapis’s hand was warm and soft, and Peridot looked down in surprise and then back up at her. She saw those warm brown eyes flicker in her direction and a small smile quirk at the corner of Lapis’s lips. The way Lapis made her heart beat quicker was fucking dizzying.

Nothing came of it for a little while. Sure, they would brush hands, or lean against each other, or glance and blush and stumble, but things remained chaste between them. They still had marathons, still sat around playing video games, still laughed and shoved and fell over each other in breathless heaps on the couch at their favorite lines and gags. Peridot found herself hanging out with Lapis more and more, staying home with her on the days they both had off, even playing her own solo or online co-op video games less, because Lapis would rather play games with just the two of them. The sight of Lapis smiling at her made Peridot feel like she’d fight a million tigers just to see it one more time.

And really, Lapis’s smile was not something she saw often enough. Peridot wouldn’t really consider it  _ rare _ , but she knew there were days Lapis wouldn’t leave her room -- wouldn’t leave her  _ bed _ . She’d heard crying through the door once or twice. And she seemed tired a lot, sleeping through entire days off. It made Peridot worry more and more; Lapis had told Peridot she could be a little difficult, that she thought something might be wrong in her head, but Peridot just thought it was generic self-deprecation, something she indulged in herself at times.

Every time time Lapis had a bad day, when her laughter turned to sighing, dark circles showing beneath her eyes, it only made Peridot want to save her from herself. She started looking up what might be wrong and how she could help, but really she didn’t know how much information she could squeeze out of Lapis without over-reaching, and she didn’t want her hero complex to ruin any chances she had with her roommate. So she stayed silent, and wondered, and hoped.

The first tiny green pumpkins started showing beneath golden stars in late summer. Every day had turned into a dance, almost, Peridot and Lapis side-stepping, moving towards each other, moving away, turning, stepping in time with each other, just short of touching. Lapis grew touchier, finding more and more reasons to have her hands on Peridot and  _ creating _ reasons when she couldn’t find them.

Peridot didn’t mind at all. Lapis’s touches made her hair prickle up, the thrill they sent through her invigorating and terrifying. And she responded in kind, bolstered by Lapis’s courageous caresses.

They were on the couch, Lapis’s legs sprawled over Peridot’s, and talking about what their Camp Pining Hearts OCs would be doing during the episode that was running in the background when Peridot ventured forth with a tentative step concealed as an innocent suggestion.

“What if we shipped them together?”

Lapis paused, her mouth open as if to reply, before shutting it and giving a nervous little laugh, pulling her knees up to her chest like she was trying to curl into a ball. Peridot’s heart dropped to her feet at the hesitation and the loss of  _ touch _ .

“I-it was a silly idea,” she started, waving her hand with a sheepish grin. “Nevermind, it’s not important--”

“What, are you in love with me or something?” Lapis asked. Peridot’s stomach tied itself into knots as she looked over Lapis’s face for any traces of emotion.

She just looked away, unable to make eye contact with Lapis, and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

Peridot jumped a little as Lapis gasped, and she looked over to see her roommate’s face broken into a wide grin, with a light in her eyes that Peridot only rarely saw. She wasn’t sure if this was a good thing, not yet.

“You are! That’s why you’re so touchy-feely and you laugh at my bad jokes! You’re in love with me!”

Lapis clapped her hands together and let out a laugh.

“Fuck, I thought you might be!”

Peridot just made a strangled Distressed noise, not sure where Lapis was going with this--

She drew back a little as Lapis crawled across the couch towards her, moving delicately around her outstretched legs, and despite the creeping slowness, Peridot was surprised once they were almost nose-to-nose.

Her glasses fogged up with the heat of her blush, and she squeaked as Lapis removed them.

“So… what are you gonna do about it, Lovergirl?”

Peridot had to look ridiculous, staring at Lapis cross-eyed as she tried to focus on the blue-haired blob in front of her.

“I- uh--” she stammered, her brain unable to properly form words with Lapis so close.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Lapis said with a sigh, then kissed her.

Her lips were soft, and warm, but her kiss was aggressive and crushing, and Peridot got swept away in the fervor of it.

Their first time was a bit of a blur. Peridot had imagined fucking Lapis several times, yeah, but once it came time for the real event, her mind’s insistence that  _ it wasn’t really happening _ made it hard for her to grasp it fully.

Kissing turned into frantic groping, Lapis leading with rough touches and aggressive rubbing through Peridot’s shirt. Her shirt came off, and her bra followed, and Lapis’s hot mouth was on her nipple, tongue working against the nub in a way that made her squirm and whimper.

Then her hand was down her pants -- Peridot didn’t even remember her undoing the fly -- and working against her clit in shaky, rough motions. Peridot writhed and whined at the flutters of pleasure, and made a hiccuping sound once Lapis slipped two fingers inside her, quirking them and rubbing at her inner walls with what even Peridot’s dazed and disbelieving brain registered as a practiced touch.

Peridot remembered coming. She wouldn’t describe it as  _ mind-blowing _ , but it was  _ good _ , a rush of heat and pleasure through her body as Lapis kept rubbing her g-spot and purring little wordless sounds of approval.

When she came down, she felt Lapis’s fingers slip out of her, and then they were pressed against her lips, invading her mouth, the taste of  _ herself _ on her tongue as she licked and sucked and cleaned; she had no choice, with the way Lapis was pressing them in so insistently, but she wouldn’t have stopped even if she did.

Lapis leaned back and hiked her skirt up, pulling her underwear first to one side and then just working them off, pale blue panties hanging off one ankle as she put her dripping pussy on display. Peridot’s eyes were drawn to the (admittedly, blurry) patch of dark hair between Lapis’s legs, entranced, and the only thing that snapped her out of it was Lapis’s voice.

“Well, Lovergirl? Gonna return the favor?”

Peridot scrambled forward, leaning in to kiss Lapis but being stopped by her hand, soft against her face while her thumb stroked her cheekbone and Lapis smiled at her.

“You’re cute without your glasses on; did you know that? You’d look better between my legs, though,” she said, her voice low and soft.

Peridot didn’t completely remember the first time she went down on Lapis. She knew she’d  _ done it _ , remembered what Lapis tasted like, remembered the way she quivered and wailed when she came, but the actual act was a bit muzzy, lost in the haze of giddy glee and fever dreams.

When she straightened back up and wiped her face on her arm, she could see Lapis reclining, hear the satisfied sigh that escaped her chest, and the realization that she had, indeed, just fucked her roommate sank in.

“S-so, uh--” she started, looking around and finally retrieving her glasses. She returned them to her face and Lapis came into focus again, one eye open and looking at her. “Are we, uh-- you know--”

Lapis leaned her head back with a sigh.

“If you want, yeah, sure,” she said.

Peridot’s heart sang at Lapis’s words. They’d fucked, and- maybe- it was going to happen  _ again _ . Lapis had gone from her roommate to her girlfriend with one simple, stupid question about fictional characters.

As the pumpkins swelled in size and began to grow fat and orange, Peridot grew more and more entranced by Lapis, drawn in by her siren song and wrapped up in the flowing folds of her favorite dress. Lapis became her  _ life _ ; she’d never felt this strongly for anyone before. Lapis was  _ captivating _ , and sure, she had her bad days, and could get snappy, and tended to take more than give in bed, but she was a good person at heart, and Peridot fell more and more in love with her every day, blemishes and all.

Lapis didn’t start out very open; it was only after days of trying to pry information from her that Peridot got much of anything outside of her interests, and likes, and dislikes.

They were wrapped up in each other on the couch, playing a game on Peridot’s Xbox, when Peridot got a text. She sighed and had to rearrange herself to even reach her phone to check what it was about.

“Who’s that?” Lapis asked, leaning as if she was trying to see the screen. “What’s it about? I wanna see!”

Peridot turned the phone towards her to show her the text.

“Family reunion this weekend. My mom wants me to bring a pie. I don’t think our pumpkins are ready just yet, though…”

“You can’t go anyway,” Lapis said, nodding to indicate the phone. “That’s my day off, and I want to spend it with you. She can buy her own damn pie from the store.”

Peridot tilted her head to one side in confused, then sighed.

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen her in a while-- she lives out of state?”

“Families are overrated,” Lapis grumbled, crossing her arms. The shadow that passed across Lapis’s face made an icy claw grip Peridot’s heart and drove the wind from her chest. She opened her mouth to speak, but Lapis beat her to it. “I haven’t spoken to my family in years. I was adopted anyway, so my real mom didn’t want me, and then my adopted dad beat me half to death when I came out, because he ‘didn’t order a dyke baby’ so families can fuck right off.”

Peridot looked at her phone and then looked at Lapis with sadness in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said, her voice soft and strained. “I’ll see if I can see her while you’re at work, then…”

“Meh. It’s been years. I’m over it. Your parents know you’re gay?”

Peridot nodded.

“Yeah, they’re- well, not  _ okay _ with it, but it isn’t a big deal.”

“It’ll eat at them and they’ll snap eventually. That’s what always happens. You’ll be better off without them.”

Peridot looked down with a soft  _ maybe _ and sent the message to her mom before setting her phone aside, mind all snarled up over Lapis and how badly she’d been treated by her father. Her own family was-- well, not entirely  _ accepting _ , but they loved her, and she loved them, right?

“I just want you to be safe,” Lapis said, leaning in to rest a hand on Peridot’s arm. “I don’t want you to get hurt like I did.”

Peridot gave a little nod, and Lapis smiled. Her heart skipped a beat and she flushed, mirroring Lapis’s smile.

She sighed, and they both turned their attention back to the game at hand. Peridot put the exchange to the back of her mind and focused on kicking Lapis’s ass.

They were well into the game, poking fun at each other over mistakes, or whenever one of them gained some kind of advantage, when Lapis’s phone rang. She glanced at the screen, then started, and scrambled to answer it, disentangling herself from Peridot’s legs and stumbling away.

Peridot furrowed her brow and tried to lean in and catch what was being said. Lapis was speaking in hushed whispers; the tone of her voice was urgent and distressed, and it made Peridot’s stomach twist up.

Lapis hung up, still facing away from Peridot, and she could see the tension in her shoulders, her slight body shaking.

Before Peridot could say or do anything, Lapis let out a furious scream and threw her phone at the floor so hard that Peridot could hear the loud crack of it breaking across the room.

“Lapis, what--”

“She’s out on  _ fucking _ parole!!”


End file.
